Sunday, March 15, 2009

Cornerstone Move, Post One

Did I ever tell you the story about how one day I was sitting home, minding my own business--really, I was--when I was asked to interview for a job at Cornerstone Academy? I knew it was not my calling, but I went to keep certain people from bugging me repeatedly. I assured them that I was NOT a teacher and that they were not to pay any attention to the fact that I had homeschooled for fourteen years. They really have nothing to do with one another.

During the interview, I think I kind of convinced them that I was not qualified to teach. I did then flippantly add that if I was looking for a job--which I was not--I would be better suited to an administrative assistant kind of role. As providence would have it, they needed that too. It really was too bad that I could not possibly fill that position because it was full-time and I homeschooled. And I led a homeschool support group. And I didn't drink coffee. Early morning schedules call for coffee drinkers. ahem, ahem

Two and a half years later, which often feels like a lifetime, I am the *crazy* glue that sometimes holds the school together. And sometimes not. Crazy is a constant.

I keep awesome boss, Dan, looking up to heaven asking, why? "Why does someone 50 something have to keep saying the most ridiculous things? Why does she think an intercom system is so much more fun than running up and down the hall delivering messages? Why oh why does she have to laugh so much during serious training? Why does she have to keep making those smart alec remarks to Ken, the trainer. And why did she have Caleb's desk moved four times?" She's crazy, that's why.

Nancy likes crazy or at least she is polite enough to not mention it if she doesn't. Yes, she's the polite one. Ken kind of had us pegged: good cop, bad cop.

Still looking up to heaven, he asks, "Couldn't she at least have taken the sprinkler system training seriously? What does she mean she's not about to go back into a burning building to turn a valve to prevent more water damage than necessary after she releases the valve that controls the pressure so that a gasket does not blow back into the system? We provided her with the training. What more could she ask for?" Don't answer that.

I want to know what they were thinking actually trusting a menopausal woman with the likes of this equipment. I say it again: I will not be entering this room come h*ll or high water or low water or any other kind of water. So help me God. And He better.


patty said...

oh-denise. you are too funny. the school looks beautiful and YOU do NOT look anywhere near 50! you go, girl!

Kelly said...