Thursday, February 11, 2010


I about died laughing when I read the comment on my previous post about leaning to ski.  I guess I should have written NOT learning to ski.  This week, in addition to pouting about not going to Blissdom,  I was mourning things that I will never get to do in my life--being old and all.  One of those things is learning to ski.  I did go once in the olden days of high school, but that does not constitute learning to ski.  Too bad for me.

Three years ago this April, I had surgery on my foot after being rewarded for my gift of sarcasm in New York City.  Yes, that was quite a reward, and it should have curbed my sarcasm forever and ever.  Maybe I should have this photo framed as a reminder.  That just may do it.


Back in 2005 while we were visiting NYC on the day after Thanksgiving ( I don't advise picking that date if you have a choice, btw), my husband just about flipped when he saw the FOX News building up ahead.  Let me just say that he is a huge fan of FOX News--me, not so much.  And I, in my enthusiasm (for him), began walking quickly while screeching, "Look everybody, it's FOX News.  Hurry, hurry, hurry, we wouldn't want to miss seeing FOX News.  blah, blah, blah."  And simultaneously, I was grabbing my camera out of my pocket in the 11-degree weather and that's when it happened.  I stepped off of the curb (quickly because that's what you do when you cross a street in NYC) and fell out of my clog-type shoe into the path of oncoming yellow vehicles.  I wouldn't advise that either.  I not only fell, but I also knocked poor Tessa down with me.

Just think about what your response as a caring family member would should be.  My son, Ryan, was horrified and began telling me to get up.  I think he mimicked me with that "hurry up, hurry up, hurry up" screech.  Tessa began to cry.  And everybody else just about died laughing.  I rallied enough to get the picture below (for him) before I hobbled inside to the building's cafeteria and applied ice to my foot which swelled up pretty quickly.  Nobody really cared because some idiot  attractive woman with bare legs and stilettos from FOX was spotted.  Don't ask me because I don't watch FOX News.  Surprise.

You may not realize this, but it is not really convenient to get injured in NYC.  I did not see even one walk-in clinic or any crutches for sale in the store windows.  I did, however, see tons of stiletto heels, which I knew even then, would have no future with me.  And since I didn't want to ruin anybody's fun, I just sucked it up and continued on.  That was smart.  And being a tightwad, I put off surgery for a year and a half.  That was smart as well.  I think that sounds sarcastic, don't you?

So I spent my 50th birthday on crutches as well as several weeks past that.  And then I got to wear a lovely blue shoe.  And let me tell you that surgery does not solve all of your problems.  It just changes them.  I am thankful that I can now at least wear a shoe.  Too bad that shoe has to lace up and contain an orthotic.  Yep, no cute flipflops or heels for me.  And no ski boots.  I suppose the moral of the story is to try to curb the sarcasm while you are in NYC.

celebrating Kenzie's birthday (same as mine) at Build-a-Bear with crutches
celebrating 50th at school with all the children
If that was not enough, two years ago while visiting in the north again, the day after Thanksgiving, on our way to IKEA--I am seeing a pattern here--we were hit from behind by a tow truck.  Nobody laughed that day.  Of course, the four children in the back seats, covered with shattered glass and screaming, kind of dictated the response.  Praise the Lord that we all walked away--in the cold--from that accident.  I suppose I should be thankful that I am just a chronic pain sufferer instead of having to mourn the loss of one of my loved ones.  And I am. It does help put it in perspective as I write it, but my back pain is so frustrating.  I am a doer, and I had so much more in life that I wanted to experience--skiing among them.  

Between the back and the foot, I am very limited on what I can do--strong drugs are not an option.  It doesn't help that all my blogging buddies are over-achievers when it comes to DIY projects.  How I wish that when I was in my prime--moving upright pianos and wood cook stoves, single-handedly, to paint under them--Blog World had been settled.  Then I could have posted all kinds of photos that would impress people.

And it doesn't help that most of my IRL friends are fitness buffs.--working out and running marathons and such.  Now, I have never been into fitness--good grief, I have always driven to the mailbox--but I might enjoy tap dancing or kick boxing or skiing.  And please, don't suggest Wii Sports.  I've tried that.  No, not for me. I just can't be laughed at that much by my family members.  I have not recovered from the first round of laughter at my expense.  I will now put on my Asics with orthotics and go to work--a desk job


Terri Smith said...

Denise, I have laughed myself silly reading this post! Forgive me. The story of your injury wasn't funny, but the way you told it certainly was! You have such a wonderful sense of humor! I absolutely love hearing your stories!

P.S. I drive to the mailbox too! Ha ha. But before I do..I have to have my makeup perfect and every hair in place!

Linda said...

Denise honey I can so sympathize with you! I have fallen so many times(including not long ago and I blogged about it also) but lucky for me I've not had a major injury to my foot. However I do have small feet for my height and weight(another story in itself) so I wear orthonics in my special VERY expensive shoes. Sigh, could be worse.

slommler said...

Gee! And I was so hoping you actually learned how to ski!! LOL!! Guess not, huh? Love your wit and your sarcasm. I about choked on my coffee this AM reading your post!!
Thanks! I needed that!

Mimi said...

I have broken my left 5th metatarsel twice in the past 6 years!!!! I was not being sarcastic but doing dumb clumsy things, like tripping over a curb and stepping off a ladder on the 3-4 step!!!!!OUCH!!!!
I understand your pain!!!
But I did learn to ski after all of that!!!! But it was painful!!!!
Try skiing at least once, it is fun!!!!

KolentynePoppy said...

I have been thinking about how ugly all my stuff is since I started blogging and also how un-talented I really am....and then how old I am and then, how I let out that horrible groan every time I bend I'm with ya! All the way. To the mailbox. In the car.


Laurie at The Turner Farm said...

Too Funny! Not that you were injured but in the way you share. Love your sense of humor.

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IrishBelle318 said...

Oh you poor thing! Glad to hear that all your family is well but I am sorry to hear that you're a chronic pain sufferer! I completely understand, at age 25 I (according to all the doctors I've seen) have the back of an 80 year old woman. Have you tried acupuncture for pain management? I was a complete non-believer but it has been helping me significantly. It worth a try, you never know right?

Funky Junk Interiors said...
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Funky Junk Interiors said...

Well, SOMETHING has to be wrong with you for being that darned cute! I mean, you can't have EVERYTHING.

Except maybe a closer mailbox...

There now. I just created you a nice little DIY project to blog about. I even know of a special paint that'll rust it up nicely for ya.

Seriously, I know all about pain all too well. There isn't anything funny about living with it daily. Sorry to hear.

NYC.. I dream of going there one day. So thanks for the tip on what NOT to do should I actually make it someday. :)


Empty Nest Full Life said...

You are too funny! I know how you feel about the amazing feats that the other bloggers are accomplishing. I feel the same way. I do plan on getting with it and getting off the extra weight I have put on. We are expecting our first grandchild, and I need to get in shape. I won't begin to tell about all of my falls, and they have happened before turning 50. I fell over a chair walking in the dark in my back yard. A picture of that would probably have been a pretty funny sight. Have a blessed evening. Jackie

Justine said...

That is just too bad that you didn't go skiing. If you just came to visit me, you could! I ski on Mondays. Every Monday is my plan until the snow disappears. I even took Briton up this week. That will be a blog post! So never say you are too old. Say you just won't get on a plane and fly to the SNOW! LOL!!

amber waves of grain said...

I enjoy reading your blog! I've chosen you for a Beautiful Blogger Award!

patty said...

ok, but your sarcasm is VERY funny. you have that! ;o
and i remember when you had that surgery, but i didnt know about the rear-ending (by the truck) and i'm sorry about the back pain (what about swimming? doesnt that sound fun in 27 degree temperature?)
so how DO you keep that beautiful figure if you drive to the mailbox?? you must not eat...

kim said...

Denise, it was great to meet you at the Tea Room. And something you said stuck with me, about a person's blog reflecting who they really are and not someone they are NOT. I just want everyone to know you are just as cute in person as you are here. It's so nice to put a person with a face/blog.

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